I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
being pregnant is like rehab
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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