Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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