apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
