Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
