yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
