Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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