Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
