HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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