I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
