listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
