if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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