theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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