It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
