Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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