Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
