her vagine was all disorganized.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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