yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
