I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
