I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
