He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
