there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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