I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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