We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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