ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
