I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
