Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
