We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
