Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
