He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize