Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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