I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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