I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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