There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize