I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
