Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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