im gay
i know
yea but for you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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