My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
