Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
