so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
