the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize