i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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