6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
