i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
