Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize