your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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