You really coming over, don't trick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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