I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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