They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I will be naked everywhere
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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