YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I am available for nakedness
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
