That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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