Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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