cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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