i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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