Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
