How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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