He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
