I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
