Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
