pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
