so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
