This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize