Where is the hickey?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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