this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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