Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I lost the right to judge tonight
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
