So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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