but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize