if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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