So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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