Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
